Gaming helped me to connect with my son

I had the most amazing night while gaming with my 12-year-old son last night.I divorced about 9 years ago and my two kids were 3 and 6 at the time. It was an ugly divorce and I mean ugly. We're still feeling the effects of it today, and while it's still a gaping wound, we've mostly learned to learn to live around the damage. I know it wasn't fair to the kids for them to be in the middle of things. I'm ashamed that I made some mistakes through the years, and I've done my best to make things up to the kids - shout out to /r/NarcissisticAbuse and /r/NarcAbuseAndDivorce for the help throughout the years.Everyone encounters difficulties in life. There are three types of reactions; there are those who are left dispirited, those who are left unchanged. Last, and this is where I try to live my life, there are those who use the challenge to make themselves stronger. If I do nothing else in life, I want to help my kids develop that kind of resiliency.My oldest, he was easy. I got him involved in sports and he took to that like a fish to water. He's an outgoing kid. He's well mannered, has lots of friends, and he's a good-looking kid in great shape.My youngest, the one this post is about, has been a mystery. He's wicked funny and surprisingly mature, and yet he can balance that with a solid dick or fart joke. Where my oldest is into sports and being loud and hanging out with his friends, my youngest is introverted and artistic. I have him enrolled in acting classes, and we've done piano lessons. He never really talked about the situation between his mom and me, so I never knew what he was thinking about it. We did some therapy to help him process things, but not a lot came up. While I don't feel overly concerned about anything I've seen from him, I'm sure he's holding on to a few things.I've like most parents and I worry that my kids are doing alright. I worry they spend too much time gaming, so I encourage them to exercise, spend time with friends, and read books. With the last year of lockdowns, they've almost become nocturnal, which I worry about their mental health.When I left my ex, I left with nearly nothing. I think I had maybe a few changes of clothes, the car my parents gave me and a laptop. One of the first things I bought was a used PS3. The kids would play it when they visited.As I rebuilt my life, I bought more gaming systems. The PS3 added an Xbox-360 and they turned into a PS4 and Xbox-One and now I have a PS5 and Xbox Series X.I always thought it was mostly for the kids. Sure, I played a few games, but my kids dominated the playing time. It was Minecraft for years, but they also played other games like the NHL series or Halo. I bonded with my youngest a bit over TLOU (I've done my best to scare him with horror movies, but that kid won't scare), but we never played many games together. Part of it was just being so busy with life, and part of it was not knowing which game to play.Until last night.My oldest was at a sleepover with some friends and my partner was camping, so it was just me and my youngest alone. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said he heard of a two-player game and asked if we could try it out.The game he suggested was It Takes Two. The conceit is a kid overhears her parents arguing and they tell her they're getting divorced, so she does a magic ritual that turns them into dolls and so they need to work together to get back to their bodies.It was such a perfect moment. We were confronted by the reality of what we've been living with and it was like an alternate timeline. If we worked together, we could fix the relationship.It was a nice fantasy, and one I wish I could give to him, but unfortunately, it won't ever come to pass. But it felt like I saw his heart open in front of me and there was an innocent - yet wise - and optimistic soon-to-be young man on full display. He had lived through some tough times, but he was at peace with what he had been through and was still my little guy. Most importantly, I realized that we have a pretty solid relationship since he still wants to hang out with his out-of-touch old man.We played a couple of hours of It Takes Two last night until we got frustrated with the toolbox and I went to bed. He stayed up playing RDR2 and I went off to process what happened. I had tears in my eyes at being so grateful that we were able to connect on such a deep level.I'm sure he didn't see things the same way that I did, and that's ok. I know that we have an amazing relationship and we will for years to come. More info: https://ift.tt/3ecpPco